The Last Post on the Bugle

Torture, scepticism about “global warming”, opposition to “socialized medicine”, further support for a futile military effort, enthusiasm for a new disastrous campaign in a country of similar name; the Republicans are on the wrong side of history. I have a feeling that the reason these neanderthals so stringently deny Evolution, is that their own prolonged survival seems dependent on its non-existence. “Da ist der Wunsch der Vater des Gedankens,” as they say in Germany, awkward translation: there, the wish is the father of the thought.

There is, however, no reason to be afraid of these people. None of them look like they can win.

Giuliani is a mafiosi, 9/11 “achievements” aren’t necessarily political currency anymore. Recent disclosures of using-state-officials-to-protect-a-not-all-to-natural-mistress-while
-using-state-funds-to-fornicate-with-beforementioned-lady-in-roadside
-motels, align him much to closely with Sir Bernard Kerik, a man of similar distinction and exploits.

Fred Thompson is an alligator, popular only in the swamps of the South.

Romney is a Mormon. If nominated, the cult which he emerged from will quickly become subject to such public scrutiny, that this duck will soon be as lame as his freakish family looks. (If you are interested in the specifics of this “religion” read Hitchens expose on Mormonism and Romney http://www.slate.com/id/2178568/) Additionally, Romney has a record so liberal that it would put Mike Gravel to shame. Not that Mike Gravel, in his old age, is prone to such feelings.

Huckabee seems like a fun, decent guy; but his is a record of incompetence and ignorance, character traits that cease to impress outside the trailerparks of Middle America and the churches of the South. Independents will find it hard to come to terms with this guy’s record; being completely ignorant of the earth-shattering NIE report two days after its publication, calling for a quarantine of Aids victims in 1992, pardoning a rapist because of the victim’s relation to the Clinton family, only to see the same rapist reoffend with similar vigour shortly afterwards. Not even Chuck Norris can help this man.

McCain is the republicans best bet for the general election. But they won’t nominate him, because he’s opposed to torture.

Pro-torture is an interesting stance, and is often justified with the odd “we’ve never faced such a threat” or “what would you do if the bomb was ticking and everyones life was in your hands?” (The ticking bomb is in itself interesting; the Quaeda guys do seem somewhat midievaly inclined, but as far as technology goes, they have rarely relied on such backward devices.) The idea of this unprecedented threat is in itself interesting; the terrorist threat warrants methods that were unnecessary in fighting both the genocidal Nazis and the Nuclear Soviets. In fact, it occurs to me that such treatment is mostly reserved for nationaless enemies, such as the Viet Cong, who also received a healthy dose of torture at the hands of American soldiers.
Torture, as an issue, should be the biggest no-brainer. The argument should be simple: “IF these FOLKS Hate our FREEDOM, and our LIBERTY, we should make sure to HOLD ON to those VALUES when we go to WAR with them. OTHERWISE, what are we DEFENDING?” But such long-winded arguments don’t seem to play well at Rodeos and Nascar races.
The Republicans are on the wrong side of history, though it’s quite possible they will soon call the concept of history itself into question. Romney does already; as a Mormon, he believes Jesus lived in Albany, NY (beautiful place) and fought indians and blacks. So, let me rephrase for the sake of fairness: the republicans are on the wrong side of what elitist, left-wing, academic-types refer to as “history”, or L’histoire.